So, incredibly recently my life has been flipped upside down very quickly! Illness struck and my family dynamic has had to change within weeks, on top of this I have started a new course at a local college. A course I thought I would love and maybe it’s just because I’m not settled yet (at only 2 weeks in) but I can’t quite seem to be at peace.
I know it’s a mix of all different things going on in my life at once but I’m very big into being at peace within yourself and your environment around you.
I HATE feeling any slight uncomfortableness!! Whether that’s awkward conversations or a gut feeling that ‘this isn’t right’.
I know that in your 20’s, you’re meant to go through confusion of what you’re going to do with your life but I wasn’t expecting that from myself. I naively thought I had my life planned out and nothing could possibly go wrong… but I couldn’t have been more ignorant!
At this point in my life, my 18 year old self would have wanted me to be finishing university and heading into a life long career, sorry to say 18 year old Jess but that definitely didn’t happen!!
BUT part of me is glad! I’ve met some wonderful people and had some amazing experiences in the past couple of years but now it’s time again to choose, do I go to uni or not??
You would’ve thought I’d have figured this out by now wouldn’t you? But there I was this morning, nursing a cup of tea, eating butterfingers taking personality tests that claimed they would tell me ‘where my passion lies’ or ‘what career I will love’ and reading articles and watching videos about whether to go to university or not and to be honest… I’m just as confused if not more!
What I do know for sure is I just want to be happy. In every aspect of my life. I want to find new hobbies and maybe meet some new friends and gain new connections. I have a relationship that makes me incredibly happy already but I want the rest of my life to balance out as well. And hopefully one day fall into a career which makes me not dread getting up early to go to work and doesn’t have me clock watching, ready to rush out as soon as the clock strikes 5.
The point of this post is just to document the mark in my 20’s where I’m just confused as everyone else and just maybe help someone else reading this to be assured, they are not alone, while not trying to push them to go travelling or having a gap year either!