The Okayness of Not Knowing…

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One of my friends text me the other day frantically panicking (which is usual for Sunday evenings) saying;
‘I’m having another life crisis again!! I don’t think I want to be (enter any occupation here) anymore!! Help!!’

And it dawned on me one of two things I would like to share with you, although they will be in different posts! But still, go make yourself a cup of tea and grab some biscuits…

  1. It’s okay to not know what you want to do, even when you think you ‘should’ have it figured out by now. You have time. You can get space and that’s okay and not looked down upon.

At 18, finishing college, being told I had to figure out everything and then make a decision with what I wanted to do for the next 30+ years, my life was literally crumbling apart around me.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, had 3 very close family members pass away, went through a breakup, all whilst pretty much ‘failing’ my A levels and getting rejected from university.
It’s safe to say that 2014 was the worst year of my life.
By far.

HOWEVER, it was also the best year of my life too (just give me a minute to explain…).
In hindsight, if none of those things had happened, I would’ve gone to university, probably to do drama or geography and I would’ve been happy for a little while but ultimately I would’ve moved away when I wasn’t ready and come out unhappy with a degree I didn’t really want to use.

Instead, I decided to work full time for a while, I got to try a couple of different courses to see what I liked and didn’t like. I volunteered at my church for a year and learnt more about myself and where I wanted to go and along the way met some incredible people I couldn’t imagine my life without.

This is a very long winded way of saying, it’s okay to not know what you want to do when you are 17/18 years old!
Hey, it’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do when you’re 30 or 40 or 57!
There is no age that things ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ happen at!
You shouldn’t ‘have travelled more’ or ‘done more’ of anything.

Personally, I’m so grateful for the time I took out of education, although it doesn’t work for everyone, it did for me.
The amount I have grown and learnt about myself is so valuable that while I’m going into university as my friends are graduating, the only thing I’m focusing on is my path and my goals.

I urge you, that if you aren’t 100% about something, whether that be a subject or career path, to go and try some things out first before committing yourself.

Did you always want to be a vet when you were younger? Try and volunteer somewhere and see if it’s for you! Maybe you just want to gain new skills or meet new people! Try going to different social events and groups! It’s amazing who you could find in some …

The whole point of my rambling is to say; it’s okay that you don’t know what you want to do yet or if you want to go to university. There is a whole planet out there and a million things to do and see and people to meet and skills to learn.
Life may look like just a classroom now but I assure you, you can find even the smallest of adventures in every day!

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6 Comments

  1. Oh gosh Jessie, I thought I had it all figured out in my early 20’s. I was in a long term relationship and working as a teacher – I’m now 30, single with a beautiful little girl and attempting to find out about a career I haven’t trained in. Life is too short to be stuck in a job you don’t like, and it’s never too late to make a change!

    Kara
    http://www.spreadthesparkle.co.uk

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  2. I think you’re very lucky if you actually know what you want to do with your life. Out of all of my friends who went to uni, I think only one or two ended up in the career they’d planned. I still don’t really have a career and may never have one. I’m just working for money to allow me and my family to live the life we want. I don’t think you need to pressure yourself to find all the answers when you’re still so young.

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  3. When I decieded to go to Uni, literally a week before I went I had an absolute meltdown that I didn’t want to go.
    It’s completely okay to take time to work stuff out, to do whatever you think is best for you and not the path that everyone imagines.

    I’m 24, married and have a house yet I definitely don’t have my shit together. It takes time! 💕

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  4. I fully agree with you! I have a degree in an area I dont work in, I work a job I absolutely adore and currently couldn’t even bare the thought of taking time off (long term) but it doesn’t mean in three years time I wont decided I want a career change, or I want to train in another area, its amazing where life takes you and I like to take it one day at a time and see where life gets me, when I stop loving my job so much I might move on and rediscover the subject of my degree and one day put that to use, who knows!

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  5. I constantly picked options that still allowed me to have choices! I chose varied a – levels then had a year out as I had no idea! In the end I took a leap and said I want to do a business degree which then left me open to plenty of other options. I’m coming to the end of my degree and I needed to have an idea of something I’d like to do for the next few years so I’ve got a job where I will take my professional accounting qualifications yet it still leaves doors open for me! I know I’d love to be in the finance department of a huge beauty/fashion brand but I know that that’s not going to happen instantly so I have to look to the foreseeable future! Who knows where I might be in ten years time! Don’t worry, many people are in the same boat, it’s the ones that have it all planned out that worry me hahahahaha! Xx

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